Topic: What To Do If Your Child Hates Their Teachers?
Date: 14 March 2024, Thursday
Speaker: Ms Lee Li Li, Clinical Psychologist
Teachers play an important role in the learning and growth process of children. If a child has a poor relationship with their teacher, it not only hinders their ability to learn effectively but also affects their psychological well-being.
Therefore, when parents encounter complaints from their children about disliking their teacher, they should not ignore the issue but take immediate action to address it. So, what can parents do to help improve the relationship between their child and the teacher?
Ms. Lee Li Li, a clinical psychologist with 21 years of experience, explained in an interview with "Cincai News" that the ages of 7 to 11 are crucial for children in terms of emotional regulation. During this period, children enter school, expand their social circle, develop their cognitive abilities further, and enhance their independence and adaptive functioning.
She stated, "During this period, children begin to better control their emotional expressions and can articulate their emotional experiences and needs through language."
"At the same time, they also start to understand others' emotions and needs and attempt to resolve conflicts and problems through communication and cooperation. If parents or teachers fail to positively guide children during this process, children are prone to losing control and experiencing negative emotions."
Ms. Lee Li Li explained that there are several reasons why elementary school students might dislike their teachers. Firstly, they may perceive the teacher's teaching style as self-centred. They may feel that the teacher does not teach systematically but rather at their own pace, without considering whether students understand or can keep up. "Some elementary school students may find the subject matter taught by the teacher boring, or even if the subject is interesting, they find the teaching style dull."
She said, "Secondly, in some cases, elementary school students may not believe that the teacher is intelligent or knowledgeable in the subject, or they may think that the teacher does not teach seriously or is habitually unprepared to deliver lessons."
"Thirdly, elementary school students may feel that the teacher is only working for the sake of the job, which they find off-putting. They need a teacher who is passionate about teaching."
"Fourthly, some elementary school students may perceive favouritism from the teacher towards certain students, feeling that the teacher is unfair, so they don't enjoy the teacher's classes."
She mentioned that fifthly, some elementary school students dislike their teachers due to personality differences. Energetic students may find conservative, philosophical, or preachy teachers dull and dislike their classes.
"Some students who learn slowly or are used to encouraging teaching methods may be afraid of or dislike teachers who are strict in character, often using scolding or blaming students as a way to motivate them."
Ms. Lee Li Li provided some guidance when asked about what parents should do when children tell their parents they dislike their teacher.
"I suggest that parents maintain an open and objective mindset when faced with this issue. First, it's important to seek to understand the truth of the matter so parents can talk separately with their child and the teacher or discuss the matter with both of them together. Doing so can greatly help in repairing the relationship between the child and the teacher."
Ms. Lee Li Li emphasizes that effective resolution of this issue requires good communication with both the child and the teacher. If the child is expressing complaints, parents should listen to their concerns and verify with the teacher whether the situation is accurate.
She said, "If the child harbours strong negative emotions towards the teacher, they may vent these emotions onto family members or classmates."
"Parents are advised to take their child for psychological counselling. This helps the child identify the underlying issues and solve them effectively."
If parents find that the reason their child dislikes the teacher is due to personality differences between the child and the teacher, Ms. Lee Li Li suggests encouraging the child to focus on the positive aspects of the teacher's teaching rather than on the teacher as an individual.
"In other words, emphasize the teacher's dedicated teaching efforts. After all, it's a learning class, not a building of friendships. There's no need to dwell on liking or disliking a particular teacher."
"Parents can also help children develop positive communication skills and encourage them to express their feelings in a constructive manner."
Ms. Lee Li Li mentioned that if a child tells their parents they dislike their teacher but the parents don't attempt to address the issue, it can have negative consequences.
"Elementary school students who are ignored by teachers for an extended period may experience abnormal levels of cortisol in their bodies, leading to underdeveloped brain structures, which adversely affect their cognitive and brain function development."
"Such students may lack a sense of security or experience disorganized attachment towards their teachers due to long-term neglect, consequently impacting their interactions with others during their growth process. This often results in poor social skills and gradually reduced interaction with peers."
"As they age, they may experience emotional issues, including feelings of inferiority, lack of confidence, and personality disorders."
"Their ability to regulate attention may also be affected, leading to difficulties in concentration and an inability to focus during lessons at school."
She noted that cognitive impairments and learning disabilities are common problems among elementary school students who have been neglected. Compared to students who have not been neglected by teachers, these students are more likely to experience barriers in their relationships with teachers.
"Such students generally require more attention from teachers. Therefore, if elementary school students are neglected by teachers, not only will they fall further behind in their studies, but they may also lose interest in learning and be unable to trust their teachers."
"If they are perceived by teachers as lazy, indifferent, or not progressing, the problem will become even more serious."
Notes: The above content was adapted from Cincai News: ‘What to do if your child hates their teacher?’ on 14 March 2024 (Thursday). For further information and assistance, please contact us.
Date: 14 March 2024, Thursday
Speaker: Ms Lee Li Li, Clinical Psychologist
Teachers play an important role in the learning and growth process of children. If a child has a poor relationship with their teacher, it not only hinders their ability to learn effectively but also affects their psychological well-being.
Therefore, when parents encounter complaints from their children about disliking their teacher, they should not ignore the issue but take immediate action to address it. So, what can parents do to help improve the relationship between their child and the teacher?
Ms. Lee Li Li, a clinical psychologist with 21 years of experience, explained in an interview with "Cincai News" that the ages of 7 to 11 are crucial for children in terms of emotional regulation. During this period, children enter school, expand their social circle, develop their cognitive abilities further, and enhance their independence and adaptive functioning.
She stated, "During this period, children begin to better control their emotional expressions and can articulate their emotional experiences and needs through language."
"At the same time, they also start to understand others' emotions and needs and attempt to resolve conflicts and problems through communication and cooperation. If parents or teachers fail to positively guide children during this process, children are prone to losing control and experiencing negative emotions."
Ms. Lee Li Li explained that there are several reasons why elementary school students might dislike their teachers. Firstly, they may perceive the teacher's teaching style as self-centred. They may feel that the teacher does not teach systematically but rather at their own pace, without considering whether students understand or can keep up. "Some elementary school students may find the subject matter taught by the teacher boring, or even if the subject is interesting, they find the teaching style dull."
She said, "Secondly, in some cases, elementary school students may not believe that the teacher is intelligent or knowledgeable in the subject, or they may think that the teacher does not teach seriously or is habitually unprepared to deliver lessons."
"Thirdly, elementary school students may feel that the teacher is only working for the sake of the job, which they find off-putting. They need a teacher who is passionate about teaching."
"Fourthly, some elementary school students may perceive favouritism from the teacher towards certain students, feeling that the teacher is unfair, so they don't enjoy the teacher's classes."
She mentioned that fifthly, some elementary school students dislike their teachers due to personality differences. Energetic students may find conservative, philosophical, or preachy teachers dull and dislike their classes.
"Some students who learn slowly or are used to encouraging teaching methods may be afraid of or dislike teachers who are strict in character, often using scolding or blaming students as a way to motivate them."
Ms. Lee Li Li provided some guidance when asked about what parents should do when children tell their parents they dislike their teacher.
"I suggest that parents maintain an open and objective mindset when faced with this issue. First, it's important to seek to understand the truth of the matter so parents can talk separately with their child and the teacher or discuss the matter with both of them together. Doing so can greatly help in repairing the relationship between the child and the teacher."
Ms. Lee Li Li emphasizes that effective resolution of this issue requires good communication with both the child and the teacher. If the child is expressing complaints, parents should listen to their concerns and verify with the teacher whether the situation is accurate.
She said, "If the child harbours strong negative emotions towards the teacher, they may vent these emotions onto family members or classmates."
"Parents are advised to take their child for psychological counselling. This helps the child identify the underlying issues and solve them effectively."
If parents find that the reason their child dislikes the teacher is due to personality differences between the child and the teacher, Ms. Lee Li Li suggests encouraging the child to focus on the positive aspects of the teacher's teaching rather than on the teacher as an individual.
"In other words, emphasize the teacher's dedicated teaching efforts. After all, it's a learning class, not a building of friendships. There's no need to dwell on liking or disliking a particular teacher."
"Parents can also help children develop positive communication skills and encourage them to express their feelings in a constructive manner."
Ms. Lee Li Li mentioned that if a child tells their parents they dislike their teacher but the parents don't attempt to address the issue, it can have negative consequences.
"Elementary school students who are ignored by teachers for an extended period may experience abnormal levels of cortisol in their bodies, leading to underdeveloped brain structures, which adversely affect their cognitive and brain function development."
"Such students may lack a sense of security or experience disorganized attachment towards their teachers due to long-term neglect, consequently impacting their interactions with others during their growth process. This often results in poor social skills and gradually reduced interaction with peers."
"As they age, they may experience emotional issues, including feelings of inferiority, lack of confidence, and personality disorders."
"Their ability to regulate attention may also be affected, leading to difficulties in concentration and an inability to focus during lessons at school."
She noted that cognitive impairments and learning disabilities are common problems among elementary school students who have been neglected. Compared to students who have not been neglected by teachers, these students are more likely to experience barriers in their relationships with teachers.
"Such students generally require more attention from teachers. Therefore, if elementary school students are neglected by teachers, not only will they fall further behind in their studies, but they may also lose interest in learning and be unable to trust their teachers."
"If they are perceived by teachers as lazy, indifferent, or not progressing, the problem will become even more serious."
Notes: The above content was adapted from Cincai News: ‘What to do if your child hates their teacher?’ on 14 March 2024 (Thursday). For further information and assistance, please contact us.
