By Lim Ai Kuan
Images provided by interviewee and the Internet
In this era of AI, an increasing number of teenagers are beginning to question the meaning of hard work. They might say: "No matter how much you study, it’s useless," or "Grades do not represent the future". In the past, beliefs in striving that were taken for granted seem to be loosening in the worldview of the new generation. When effort no longer leads to certain rewards and scores no longer represent value, they seem to choose to let go and "lie flat".
Lee Li Li, a renowned Malaysian psychological consultant and founder of Azon Allied Health & Educare, states that some people believe that when students say things like "studying more is useless" or "grades don't represent the future," they are simply being lazy or failing to cherish opportunities. However, from an educational psychology perspective, this is not the truth.
"These children have often experienced repeated setbacks. No matter how hard they bury their heads in work, their results never seem to break through. Consequently, they slowly learn to resign themselves to fate, believing that effort is in vain. This is a form of Learned Helplessness—a belief formed after repeated defeats".
She mentions that some children are truly lost in their studies. They do not know why they are learning. To them, grades are like a string of numbers unrelated to life; when learning is detached from interest and goals, leaving only repetitive drills, they cannot feel its meaning.
"On a deeper level, there is also a lack of a sense of control. From a young age, they have been arranged to walk a 'path decided by others': which tuition to attend, what class rank to achieve, and which prestigious school to enter—everything is controlled by external forces. When they realize they are merely pawns being manipulated, internal resistance grows quietly".
Therefore, so-called "academic lying flat" is not as superficial as it appears. It is a complex psychological struggle—a state that looks like letting go but is actually filled with resentment. It is an explanation, a shout, a helpless form of self-protection, and a silent cry for help from a child to the world.
Passion Eroded by Comparison
She points out that when a student begins to lose interest in learning, people often rush to find reasons. Is the subject too difficult? Is their goal unclear? Or have they seen through the illusory value of scores too early? But when you truly enter a child's heart, you find the answer is far more complex and heavy than these surface explanations.
"A teenager's 'loss of interest' is not laziness, but a form of mental exhaustion. When effort no longer brings hope, when learning becomes a process that consumes self-esteem, when grades become a yardstick for comparison, and when dreams are buried under the expectations of others, interest quietly dies like a neglected seed".
Ms. Lee states that education was never meant to be a battlefield for scores, winning, or losing. Instead, it is a journey for a person to discover strength and meaning. What a student truly needs is not to be blamed with "why aren't you working hard," but to be guided to see again. We must let teenagers know that effort has value, growth can be felt, and knowledge is connected to life.
She says that in many classrooms, learning does not begin with understanding, but with comparison. From a young age, children learn to look at rankings and compare scores, viewing classmates as competitors and using grades to judge their own worth.
"Therefore, when education becomes an endless race, the meaning of learning slowly changes from 'I want to know' to 'I cannot lose'. So when someone asks: 'Does a comparative environment cause academic lying flat?' Perhaps the answer is: 'It is not the only reason, but it is often the last straw that crushes the passion for learning'".
When comparison becomes a daily routine, a child’s heart changes bit by bit. They no longer ask "What have I learned?" but "Am I better than others?" When effort only results in "still not as good as others," they begin to doubt the meaning of striving. Some children say "I don't care about grades," but that isn't being easygoing; it is a fear of being hurt when compared again.
Lee Li Li states that teenagers are not unaware of the importance of learning, but they don't want to be compared anymore. What a child truly wants has never been to be 'Number One,' but to be 'seen'. The meaning of education is not to pick out the fastest person, but to accompany every child in finding their own direction. When comparison becomes the sole standard, self-esteem and passion are worn away.
Children Long for Understanding and Autonomy
"If learning only leaves behind scores, the child's heart gradually moves away from knowledge. When doing homework is just to 'finish quickly,' exams are just to 'avoid being scolded,' parents only care about 'what rank you got,' and teachers are too busy with re-exams to inspire interest, at that moment, learning is no longer a journey of exploration, but a heavy task".
Consequently, we see children start to equate learning with pain. It is not because learning is hard, but because meaning has been taken away, leaving only pressure. In fact, no child is born disliking learning. From learning to talk and walk, to puzzles and riding a bike, learning can originally be joyful and bring a sense of mastery. But when it is hooked to scores, bound to comparison, and racing against time, learning becomes a burden.
"Some students look lazy, but their hearts are actually full of anxiety. In psychology, this Anxious Withdrawal phenomenon not only exists but is more dangerous than surface-level laziness. Because they don't truly 'not care'—they care too much but feel powerless to change, so they choose 'giving up' to protect themselves".
Ms. Lee says this is actually anxiety disguised as indifference. It looks calm, but the internal friction is severe. Their hearts are in a long-term tug-of-war: wanting to work hard but fearing failure; wanting to move forward but worrying about being rejected again.
She analyzes that if this anxiety is not understood and guided, it may develop over time into generalized anxiety, academic depression, chronic procrastination, self-doubt, and even a total loss of confidence and motivation for life.
"Therefore, I hope parents and teachers understand that the problem is not 'how to force the child to work hard,' but how to rescue them from anxiety. We must let them regain a sense of security, confidence, and meaning in learning. When a child is no longer afraid of being compared or anxious about grades, learning can once again become light, free, and full of vitality".
Lee Li Li points out that when parental expectations are too high and teacher demands are too many, while emotional support is too little, the most likely reaction from a student is not to work harder, but to engage in "Defiant Lying Flat".
"This situation is especially common among middle school students. The child appears to be rejecting learning, but they are actually using 'non-cooperation' to express internal rebellion. They don't 'not want' a future; they want to reclaim the sense of control that was stripped away. They long to be understood and don't want to just follow orders; they hope for the right to choose and to be able to decide their own way of learning".
She believes every teenager hopes to be treated as a person with thoughts and feelings, not a grade-producing machine. What they want is never indulgence, but a little bit of space to be respected.
Persistence in Learning Originates from Family Attitudes
"When students encounter setbacks in their studies, whether they choose to keep trying, take a break, or simply give up actually depends on what kind of family stands behind them. A family support system isn't just about whether there is enough money or a tutor; it’s about whether there is someone willing to reach out a hand when the child falls". Psychological research points out that whether a child has the courage to "keep trying" depends on their Psychological Resilience. The greatest source of that resilience is the attitude and companionship of family members. True support is neither blind comfort nor high-pressure encouragement.
Parents should let children feel three types of psychological security:
- Being Accepted: Your grades do not decide your value in this home.
- Being Understood: I know you have already worked hard; let’s find a way together.
- Being Trusted: You have the ability to progress; I believe you can.
"Sometimes, it’s a simple sentence. If a family only appears when the child succeeds, the child will fear failure; but if the family stays by their side during setbacks, they will know they can try one more time".
Ms. Lee emphasizes that in this era, the rhythm of the world is quietly changing. AI has entered classrooms, factories, and offices. More and more new types of careers are emerging that no longer rely entirely on academic scores to determine one's place. Against this backdrop, the traditional concept of "studying to get ahead" is wavering for the first time.
She asks, should we redefine "hard work"? The answer is a resounding yes. Effort should not just be for exams, competition, and rankings. Effort should also be for exploring the complexity and possibilities of the world, for discovering one's own value and direction, for having the ability to choose one's life, and for standing firm amidst the changes of the times.
"Therefore, in this era where AI and diverse careers coexist, we must let children know that studying is not 'to get ahead,' but to gain freedom; it is not to prove a grade, but to explore potential".
