Topic: Noisy Children Surcharge of a Singapore Restaurant
Date/Time: 11 November 2022 (Friday), 2:00-3:00pm
Speaker: Ms Lee Li Li, Clinical Psychologist

The issue of noisy children arises, how to deal with? – Children’ age needs to be taken into account for children who are noisy in public.



Child Development Milestone


How do we define 'noisy children'?
Children at the age of 0-3 years old should not be classified as "noisy children". Children begin to explore and learn social behaviours between the ages of 2-3, and learn to apply basic social skills after the ages of 3-4. Throughout exploration and learning, parents may apply the basic behavioural management technique to manage children’s undesired behaviours, such as tantrums or disturbing others. Children may be defined as "noisy children" if they continue to exhibit the undesired behaviours after the age of 3.

However, children with special needs should be taken into account as well. Children with special needs have developmental delays. Their cognitive neuro-motor, social and communication skills develop slower than the average children. The prime treatment period for children with special needs is from 3-4 years old. Hence, parents should take advantage of this period to build up children's self-control, basic cognition, and desired behaviours. Therefore, we should give children with special needs a grace period until the age of 5 after they have developed the basic cognition and self-control skills.

Are there any restrictions on the opportunities for special needs children to go out?

• It is discouraged. Instead, we should let special needs children to go out more often as it allows them to connect with the outside world and learn the appropriate social behaviours. Parents are advised to create opportunities that are suitable for special needs children to go out (e.g. eat at less crowded times or restaurants with children' play area)

When a noisy child is out of control, parents should:

• Identify and understand the child's prior motives (e.g. exploring, getting attention, avoiding meals) and manage the behaviours effectively
• Clarify the goal (Avoid rectify different behaviours in a short period of time)
• Maintain mood stability
• Guide children towards different satisfactions
• Implementation of natural results (noisy or unruly in public – > being taken away from the scene, unenjoyable, not punished)

Positive parenting shapes positive behaviours:

1. Manage behaviour emotionally
2. Build a calm space for each other
3. Create opportunities for practice and participation
4. Establish a daily routine together
5. Increased encouragement rather than praise

According to clinical researches, it is workable if the financial penalties is within the capability of the parents. Parents are willing to change their parenting style because of this financial penalty as a reminder to be good parents.

Effects of punishment on children:

• Public condemnation can cause children to have low self-esteem and self-worth
• Regular punishment makes children fearful, insecure, and more likely to make mistakes
• Doing things to escape: affect the spirit of initiation and exploration
• Inability to get close to children: avoidance, imitation, revenge on parents
• Set an example of mistakes: Children learn from mistakes

It is suggested for parents to practice authoritative parenting style: Respond to children's needs while having firm limits for their children (e.g., when a child requested to learn musical instruments, parents should guide them to develop the appropriate behaviour and attitude and most importantly, identify the source of interest before agreeing to their request.)

ABC Behaviour Analysis Model:

1. Identify the undesired behaviour - Behaviour
2. Observe the event or interaction that happen before the undesired behaviour – Activating event
3. Teach children the right behaviour and reinforce the positive behaviour – Consequence

Note： The above content is adopted from 8TV, “Living Delights”: "Noisy Children Surcharge of a Singapore Restaurant?" on 11.11.2022. For further information and assistance, please contact us.