Topic: Seniors and Mental Health: Life Longings and Regrets
Time: August 9th, 2022, 9.30 am-10.30 am
Speaker: Ms. Lee Li Li (PhD candidate in Gerontology Medical Science and Consultant Psychologist)

Life Longings – Missing the irreplaceable (E.g., People, things, and events)
Regrets – The blanks in our past that we created out of ignorance

We live in a digital world today, but many seniors lack the confidence to use technology to communicate with their loved ones. Instead, older people express their longing for intimate physical contact with their loved ones. The need for companionship does not diminish with age. During the pandemic, we may have to limit physical contact, but we can be creative in staying connected to our loved ones. For example, by creating interesting greeting manners like “Hi-5/shake hand in the air”, placing your hand on the chest, bowing to each other, etc.

On the contrary, people tend to regret as they get older. It is because they have reached a stage where they start to reminiscence of the past and recognize the wrong choices they made that could affect their well-being. Generally, the components of regrets are related to family, education, career, etc.



The Loss of Aging

Losses and life regrets can negatively influence individuals’ emotional well-being and physical health if they are not regulated effectively. On the contrary, learning to apply coping strategies to manage the experience of regret may help alleviate the intensity of regrets and improve one’s psychological well-being. When life is ready to play its last part, the seniors may have experienced a disconnection from the world that arise from loss, body changes, regrets, etc.


“Longing is like a flowing river; it will not and does not have to end.”
“In moments of reminiscing the past, we found loss and helplessness; and the scars of our past will never heal but left with gut-wrenching pain.”

Tips to overcome life regrets:

• Provide companionship to the seniors by listening to their life stories and reflections, or even revisiting memorable places
• Encourage the elderly to participate in meaningful sharing (e.g., memories, wisdom, and reflections) with others
• Organize a support group for the seniors that allows them to share and receive support. For example, grief support groups, money management support groups, etc.

Notes: The above content was transcribed from our August 9th, 2022 Unilifesity’s Elderly Enrichment Programme - Seniors and Mental Health: Life Longings and Regrets. Please kindly contact our office if you would like to learn more or seek consultation. Thank you.