Ai FM: The Unbearable Pain in Life

The consulting psychologist, Ms. Lee Li Li had recently appeared on Ai FM 89.3/106.7 on 13th February 2018 (Tuesday), aired at 10 a.m. and discussed on the topic of “Teens Adversity Quotient: The Unbearable Pain in Life.”

What is Adversity Quotient (AQ)?

An adversity quotient is a measure of one’s ability to deal with adversities in life or known as one’s resilience.

The key elements of adversity quotient are:

1. knowing the true meaning of life;
2. ability to overcome adversity; and
3. ability to cope with stress.

In modern society, teenagers tend to easily give up and get discouraged. For teens who have lower adversity quotient, they may react to adversity with negative, self-defeated thoughts and words or quietly resign themselves to the ongoing adversity.

With the negative, self-defeated expression, parents are easier to notice the struggles that the child had faced and offer their help to the child. However, as the child quietly resign themselves to the ongoing adversity, they may be hoping that parents can see their thoughts. Nevertheless, as the adversity continued to be suppressed and unsolved, it’ll lead to extended consequences such as behavior and psychological problems.

Is the behavior of giving up easily inherent in teenagers?

The answer is no. To ensure the child has good study and social attitude since their early childhood, the parents are required to provide a safe and loving environment to him/her. Similarly, teenagers also need environment that makes them feel safe and loved; and from thence supported with adequate learning skills, then only they can face adversity with positive attitude. Besides, teenagers will have the ability to deal with adversity when they possess great inner strength.

What is inner strength?

Inner strength is the courage to deal with adversity, and it’s achievable as the teen experienced love and sense of safety from their parents. Of course, an adverse effect occurs as the child may be overly pampered or overprotected. Therefore, the amount of love should be given in an adequate level, and the parents can provide guidance on top of dealing with adversity to the child, too.

The importance to know the true meaning of life

Teenagers need to understand about life in order to develop good adversity quotient. Besides, they are able to learn various aspects of life, as well as being considerate for others when they respect and understand about life. As they grew up, parents can gradually educate them on the good and evil of society, and further explains on the precaution methods. When they learned the concept of acceptance, they'll also slowly adopt more solutions and positive attitudes to deal with adversity.

Philosophy or Principle？

Philosophy not only impart the knowledge of ethics and etiquettes, but also the aspects of life. During the conversation, parents can gradually teach the child about understanding life and its difference, so that they can learn to embrace it and develop a broader mindset to resolve adversity.

"Strawberry generation"? How to enhance adversity quotient?

The phrase of "strawberry generation" commonly used to describe teenagers who had lower adversity quotient. To enhance adversity quotient of teenager, a safe and loving environment is essential, as well as gradually showing concern and respect towards their decision, and learn to let go. Parents can supervise their child, but not interfering too much into their life.

How to educate your children to solve problem?

When the children are little, parents can provide solutions to help them with problem solving. Nevertheless, as the child reached the age of 11 years old, parents can give a try to their child to look for solution on their own, while the parents supervise and give advice along the process. Although the proposed solution may not be ideal, parents can proceed to let the children try it out, so that they are able to learn from the setback as well as enhance their problem-solving thinking ability and independence.

Note: The above shared information is adopted from Ai FM 89.3/106.7’s program ─ “Teens Adversity Quotient: The Unbearable Pain in Life” on the 13th Feb 2018. For more information, kindly contact our office and we’re pleasured to offer our assistance, thank you.